woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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