She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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