I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
