does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
