I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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