hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
thus making me awesome and them whores
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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