I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
