just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
