bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
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It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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