You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
