He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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