They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
