The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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