We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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