So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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