i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
