All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize