my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
