I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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