I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
