Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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