if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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