i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
