It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
