It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
