I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
