Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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