We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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