I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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