it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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