if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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