So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
