Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
