I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
