i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
