yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
