Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
