I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
