You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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