What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
