The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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