chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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