All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
