is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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