I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We had to coat check the pizza.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
