I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
