I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
