your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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