I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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