Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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