I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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