i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
