it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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