You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
