as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I FOUND THE LEGS
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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