just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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