Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
