I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
