But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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