I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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