You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
