I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
