dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
